Veteran actress, Joke Silva is well admired by all and sundry, mostly because of the grace with which she conducts herself home and abroad. Her enduring marriage to popular actor, Olu Jacobs, (Which has lasted 32 years) has also been used as a reference when examining the many celebrity marriage that are crumbling in recent times.
But she insisted that it was not wise for anybody to remain in an abusive relationship just because they didn’t want their marriage to fail.
She said, “People say marriages are breaking here and there, fine. But the reason marriages are breaking up in Nollywood is because we are out there in the public domain. There are so many marriages breaking up among lawyers, bankers and doctors, and when you compare that to the number of marriages breaking up in Nollywood, you find that it is a very small percentage. The fact is that social media is now our reality and it is having a lot of effect on the industry.
“The issue is that if someone is experiencing violence, male or female, leave the marriage. Leave it because when you die the other person continues living. For me, whether the abuse is emotional or physical, please leave; and let each party get counseling, then you can come back together if counseling works, but if not, don’t come back.
“So, when people talk about ‘advice’ I don’t know what advice to give because I am not walking with their shoes, honestly. You tell somebody ‘have patience.’ What if that person has been having patience, patience and patience? Did I have patience in mine? Yes. Did I lose my temper? Actually, I think my son will say that I have a very short fuse. So, I think what is key to any marriage is grace. Pray for the Lord to be the third person in your marriage. Pray for his grace to have wisdom, staying power, grace to have listening anointing. It is not just listening to what is being said but to everything, the body language, the way things are said. The grace to have respect for each other is key. The grace to want to have what is best for your partner is important. If you want your partner to succeed, if that is your focus, then you too will succeed. And it is a two-way traffic. It is not the woman continuously wanting the husband to succeed or the husband wanting the wife to succeed alone; it has to be simultaneous. If the two of you are working together, the sky is the limit.”